how I felt it conciously and calmly

It’s a really strange thing. What life can be like. Today I accidentally knock a car bender off. Usually when I’m involved in an accident I’d normally get angry and can’t stop thinking about it. But this time. I was calm. I was angry at first. But the anger resided. I even calm down the other person and convinced her to take her car with me to a foreman while she freak out about the incident. It’s really funny really. Actually my car were more damaged than hers and I’ve promised to fix hers fully paid by me. Still she can’t stop freaking out. Remembering how her car got banged every year. And reminisce on what she should and shouldn’t do. Instead I just calm her off. Took the necessary picture and promise to bring her to the foreman tomorrow to fix both our car.
And at this i find myself thinking that this is a test that’s given to me from God. though i’m angry at times, it’s ok. Cos i am human after all. But with this event I find myself tougher. Not in the sense of pride or trying to convince myself that I am. But i actually feel that i am tough enough. And some how I can keep my cool and I’ll get the job (of fixing both car) done
And in a coincidental......(God and they say there’s no coincident.) I trust that now. I get the message from news paper that I’m gonna be hard to concentrate today. And there’s just coincidental that I bring a camera to work today and just in time that I can use it to document the accident. And it’s the last week of the month and I won’t have too many trouble about paying for the repair. Too many isn’t it? And the other person is a girl and I have some friends there to help me convince her and calm me too at the same time.
If you ask me there’s too many coincident and so my conclusion is there’s no coincident. My anger last peak with an accident this time God give me another taste of it and thus testing me and giving me the chance to realise how far have I come since the light turn on.
I was glad and some what over joy. I’ve lived and I’ve freed. Smile. And PEACE.
Another coincident, When I switch on the TV, Oprah was on. And they are featuring a book called “Eat, Pray, Love”. I’ve seen the book on book store before and I’ve never really try to get it because I felt it’s too flowery. But this time it’s a life saver. Or rather the life giver that gave me the realisation that to gain PEACE I must accept it. As any truth I’ve been understanding for the past few months. Accept the world have good and bad, and there’s simply possibility that there’s accident bound to happen, and I just need to let it all go.
It's not about ignoring. it's about doing the right thing. my first thought about the incident were anger, and how to escape. that's human nature. So I accept it and start to move forward. I wrote a note on the windshield of the other person car and arrange for a foreman to fix it. money I got enough so it's OK. I mean I just need to pay less for my debts. well, that have nothing to do with this, the only thing is I can clear my debts later and I can earn more money. It's not a big deal I can get the money back. So I eat, I pray and express my gratitute and start loving. from myself, to the person i love and choose not to be BAD, or feel bad. You should try it out too. it's a great medicine and great feeling to not feel bad and just...... feel free.